


Blessing of the Damned

by Multifaceted_Melancholic



Series: Two Sides of a Coin [1]
Category: Vampire Knight
Genre: Everything is for Yuuki, F/M, Kaname loves Yuuki - to death and beyond, Mild warning for literally heart-ripping-out-of-chest, but of course you already know that, why am I even trying with the tags
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-29
Updated: 2015-04-29
Packaged: 2018-03-26 08:57:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3844933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Multifaceted_Melancholic/pseuds/Multifaceted_Melancholic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A Vampire's blessing is more than just well-wishes. It is a blood-promise, eternal and unyielding. From a pureblood, it is divine sanction. Even more so from Kaname, who never does anything by halves.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Blessing of the Damned

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don’t own Vampire Knight, nor any of the lines taken from the manga.
> 
> First VK fanfic! A companion piece will be out soon.

**...**

  _Their bond was plagued with lies and regrets. Their love was deep and all-encompassing, but they simply did not understand each other. Even now, Yuki begged him not to. Did she not understand that Kaname needed this?_

...

He collapses to the floor, thoughts churning through his head, uneasy as his struggling lungs which channel blood into an empty ribcage and unto the bricks beneath. He flounders, unable to think beyond his ebbing life-force, so strong now in feeding the weapon-forge.

 _“Kaname...”_ a soft voice floats, tremulous and filled with horrified disbelief.

 _“KANAME!”_ the voice screams, and suddenly the world rights itself.

 ** _Yuuki_**. He recognises her, and everything comes back to him, pain and uncertainty banished by her mere presence. His glorious sun and gentle moon and twinkling stars; his Yuuki. He remembers what he has done, and the one last thing he must do, to ensure that the future he envisioned for them comes true... at least for **_her_**.

He presses his forehead to hers, letting her tears wash away his weariness and filling him with renewed purpose: a world where she would have no cause to cry again.

 _“Your heart...”_ She cannot say more, too busy trying to reach out and pull it from the fire. He restrains her with a too-tight hug, explaining the ancient magic as briefly as he can. Time is of the essence, and in the grand scheme of things, its irrevocability makes the matter obsolete and hence trivial.

Tears are freely falling down Yuuki’s delicate face, broken whispers of regret ghosting her lips. _“If only I wasn’t born, if I never existed...”_

Even as his form crumbles, a pang echoes in the empty hole where his heart had been. **_Oh Yuuki,_** he thinks, despairing of her ever understanding how truly important she is, a beacon of light to everything around her.

It is her existence that makes **_all this_** worthwhile.

 _“My mistake, not yours”_ he tells her. _“My choices”_ , he urges her to understand, _“and I do not regret them”_.

 _“All the sins I’ve committed, I have to atone for them.”_ He is of the past; and by offering his life as a sacrifice for greater good, the bygones can finally be bygones... perhaps even to immortal with everlasting memories.

Once the past is buried, the future can flourish again.

_“That’s why, Yuuki... don’t struggle to stop me anymore.”_

_“I don’t want this. I don’t want...”_ she chokes, gripping the arms encircling her as if she could physically keep him from death’s open arms. He hugs her, more in gratitude than reassurance, but her trembling seems to reduce nevertheless.

 

Zero says something about the Bloody Rose, his voice flat and emotionless and predictably Zero. Kaname pays little attention to the words; he has tarried in his final mission for too long, and he must impress the importance of his dying wishes on Yuuki while he is still capable of speech. _“That’s fine”_ he murmurs wryly, and beckons to the silver-haired hunter.

Zero is as unprepared for the hug as he is for the words that follow.

**“You two should be together. I _want_ you to be together.”**

Because Yuki would not do it, never, not without his permission. Not for herself; not even for Zero. It would be betrayal, since Kaname has always made his dislike for the vampire hunter abundantly clear.

They would be happy. Yuki would be happy.

_(They had loved each other. He had loved her so, so much, ever since she was a wriggly baby in Juuri's arms... But had they been happy?)_

It is funny, he has already given up his heart to feed the furnace... yet why is there is so much pain where it is supposed to be?

Zero is rigid in Kaname’s weak embrace, and his words seem to have shocked Yuuki out of her tears.

Kaname has spent a lot of time deciding this. He had worries before, but every minute makes him more sure this is the right choice to make.

If only it doesn’t hurt so much.

Kaname is both relieved there is someone to watch over Yuki with the dedication and devotion she deserves, and angry that that someone is not himself. A year of being together is hardly sufficient to assuage millennia of loneliness.

He reminds himself, time and again, not to be selfish. He made that mistake once, dragged Yuuki back into this bloody world, and rued his weakness when everything went downhill.

He tries not to grudge Zero this honour, but he is not the selfless person that Yuuki is.

Zero, who had first tainted Yuki's porcelain skin ( _too soft, too frail, too delicate_ ) to quench his uncontrollable thirst; Zero, who split the blood Kaname longed – _longs_ – for to the point of insanity, but fought tooth and nail ( _and heart_ ) to preserve; it is Zero now who shall be at Yuuki’s side.

Always and forever, as the stories go. And truly forever, for vampires like themselves.

Kaname is not so arrogant as to believe himself good enough for Yuki; for Yuki is light to his darkness and unrestrained joy to his deep-ingrained bitterness.

But Zero...

Not good enough.

The young hunter loves Yuuki, undeniably. He will do everything in his power for her; that much is plain. But Zero is brash, derisive of long-term strategy, and impulsive to boot.

Everything, _everything_ Kaname has done is for his beloved. Every drop of blood he spilt, every friendship shattered, every pureblood whose heart he wrenched out of their body. Kaname tried so hard, always watching over Yuuki  - lovely innocent, foolhardy, brave Yuuki -  from a distance.

How could Zero be good enough, if he couldn’t even protect Yuuki from himself?

 _It will be alright_ , he thinks (prays). It is love that Yuuki needs now. Zero’s questionable protection is redundant – Kaname has ensured that no threat to Yuuki still survives.

Kaname supposes Zero’s happiness is his ultimate punishment.

 

 

 Kaname has done too much harm to let everything go without penance. He is so so tired, but this is the last sacrifice he must make.

_(It’s not just his life. He is giving up Yuuki.)_

 He tries to be happy though. He is securing her future, her happiness... and maybe even her mortality...

Kaname scans the room at that thought, eyes landing on the aghast Hanabusa, who careens to a stop after his rushed, belated entrance. Aidou would continue Kaname’s work, his research; might even succeed where Kaname has failed.

(Unlike with Zero, Kaname does not grudge Aidou the honour. He, at least, deserves it.)

But the success of the formula is only the first step; it does not equate to the success of the cure. Kaname knows what lies in store; the decision-makers (the council, the hunters, or whoever else were in power after his genocide) had to be convinced to actually allow the propagation of the cure.

He snorts inwardly. As if noble vampire families who spent millennia treating humans as mere playthings and food would consider their elite status a malady; as if they would accept their vampirism not as evolution or proof of a superior race, but as a disease in need of a cure....

No matter. Kaname has provided the tools; Aidou has merely to persist. Even if Aidou cannot achieve wide-spread acceptance and use of the cure, at least he can restore what Kaname’s insatiable greed stole - Yuuki’s second chance at humanity.

It is for Yuuki. It has always been.

_Has it ever been enough?_

**...**

**Author's Note:**

> I hope I got Kaname down okay... I’d love to hear your opinion.
> 
> A companion piece from Yuuki POV will be out as soon as my schedule enables. I’d love it if you guys would read that one too!


End file.
